Why Do I Miss You?
by dorkurz
Summary: Duo is on a cruise boat upset cuz Heero left him. I don't know how else to put it. (complete, I think)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.  
  
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.  
  
Author's Notes: Beats me why I wrote this. Truth is, it's Sunday morning at 1:12am and I was about to go to sleep when I just got this idea. When my mind gets fixed on something I can't take it off of that, guess you can say I have an one-tack-mind. I wont lie, I admit it. And because of that, I had to write it down.  
  
Why Do I Miss You?  
  
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It's funny how your world just seems to stop when you lose the one you love. I remember the day he left me perfectly. Bastard. He didn't know how much he ment to me. Did he honestly think I could handle it? I guess it's typical behavior coming from "the perfect soldier". You'd think I'd be over him by now, but something inside me just wont let him go.  
  
A cold shiver went down my spine as the wind blew against me. The wind was warm though,.... humid,..... so why did I shiver. Is it because ever since he left I've never really felt warm? Damn it Heero. Why did you have to leave me? Ah.. that's right....  
  
~Flashback~  
  
"Hiya Hee-chan!" I yelled as I wrapped my arms around Heero.  
  
Something was different. Sure sometimes he wouldn't react by hugging back, but for some reason he felt stiff and cold.  
  
"What's wrong?", I asked giving him a look of concern. I swear I've never seen him like this before. The poor guy looked like he was gonna break down crying.  
  
"Duo...."  
  
I frowned not knowing what was going on. "Heero?"  
  
"Duo...I...."  
  
Spit it out! That's what I wanted to yell but, the way he looked made hold my tounge. I felt him back away a little as he pushed my arms away. Whatever he wanted to say couldn't be good.  
  
"I can't Duo."  
  
"Can't what?"  
  
"I can't..... I can't be with you."  
  
Shit. No way was this happening. It was a dream... no a nightmare, right? It felt like a thousand knives were stabbing my heart and slicing it to threads.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can't."  
  
God Heero! I heard that part already! But why!? For some reason I couldn't open my mouth to say the words.  
  
"You'd be getting in the way... in my way."  
  
"What do you mean?" So I'm just an obstacle? Nothing more nothing less. What about all we did together? What about all I gave? I gave you everything Heero.  
  
"Duo.... I.... I wasn't trained to have emotions. You've become a weakness. I can't have weaknesses. For that, I..... I can't be with you anymore."  
  
~ End of Flashback~  
  
The whole time he said it his head was bowed; I never saw his eyes. I was stupid though, I let him go. How I did it or why I did it still ponders me. It haunts me.  
  
My vision got blurry as I noticed my eyes were watering up. Oh God, not now. I'm not about to cry. I don't cry. Never. I looked out at the water. It's funny how at night, you can't tell the sky apart from the water. It looks like it's all one. Nothing but a dark blackness, like it's missing something, like it has emptiness. A smirk came to my face as I realized it was kinda like what I feel right now.  
  
If you're wondering why I'm looking at water now it's because I'm on a boat. Oh, and not just any boat, a cruise boat. Yeah, I decided, well actually Quatre decided, that I needed to get away for a while. Maybe try to get back to my cheery self again. He says I was all depressed latley. Maybe he's right, but I don't really feel anything so it doesn't matter.  
  
I don't belong here. A ship like this is where lovers come on their honeymoons. But me, I'm here killing myself inside because I let Heero, the most important thing in the world to me, walk out. Out of my life, and apparently out of this world. I tried looking up the former gundam pilot after I relized what a mistake I made, but I couldn't find a single damn thing on him. I lost him forever. Maybe It's a good thing. You know, I can't even recall him telling me once that he loved me. Maybe he never did. Maybe he just wanted to see what it felt like.  
  
A single tear fell down my face as I looked out at the ocean. I didn't wipe it away but I know I would have if I knew that I was being watched that same moment.  
  
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Author's Notes: Hope I don't have too many mistakes in the typing. ::sniffs:: This is sad. I can't believe I actually wrote this and put it out in public. But then again it is 1:12 in the morning and I'm probably not in my right mind. Heck! I'm never in my right mind. Please Review! ::giggles:: 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.  
  
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.  
  
Author's Notes: Well... here's the second part. I'm still not sure why I'm writting this. I'm so much better at   
writting humor than this angsty sappy stuff. This chapter is also a lot shorter than the other one. Hope you   
like it anyways.  
  
Why Do I Miss You?  
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Now feeling more depressed than usual, I decided I'd go back to my room. Of coarse, that's apparently not   
where my feet wanted to go.  
  
I somehow found myself sitting at one of the boat's bars sitting on one of those round stool chair things that   
move side-to-side.  
  
I guess I ordered a drink because the bartender placed something in front of me. I gave him the money and   
sat there staring at the drink like it was insulting me or something. You know the good thing about getting   
drunk on a cruise boat is that you can't get in a car and crash, the bad thing.... well, you're drunk and when   
you actually come back to reality you might be in some weird place that you didn't mean to get to.  
  
I considered my options of drinking it and I decided that I've got nothing to lose anyways. I picked up the   
glass and drank the whole thing down in one gulp. Beats me what it was but it really hit the spot.  
  
I ordered about five more and started to see doubles of everything. Now there were two bartenders, there   
looked to be about ten glasses in front of me, there were two counters, two Heero's. No, no Heero. Heero   
left me. It's just a hallucination from me being so drunk. Too many drinks. No Heero. I'm all alone.  
  
I felt someone take something out of my pockett but I guess I was too drunk to do anything about it. Next   
thing I knew, two hands were lifting me out of my seat and carrying me somewhere. I guess I passed out cuz   
when I opened my eyes, it was morning and I was laying in my bed, with my head aching like hell.  
  
What exactly happened? How did I get here? I remembered that someone carried me but, nothing else. I   
looked around my room to see if anyone else was here but, there was no one. I was all alone. A part of me   
wished that there was some strange person sitting in one of the chairs, just so I wouldn't be alone. I hate   
being alone.  
  
That's when a tear fell down my face. One single tear that broke me and made more tears come tumbling   
down my face. So I sat there in my bed, crying. Crying because I was all alone. Crying because Heero left   
me. Crying because my world was over.  
  
TBC....?  
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Author's Notes: Well this doesn't seem to be lighting up at all. Oh well. Please review! 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.  
  
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.  
  
Author's Notes: Ok here's the third part. And no one can yell at me for not bringing it out soon enough cuz I brought this out the day after I brought the second chapter out! So there! ::giggles:: What else is there to say? Thanks all the people who reviewed!  
  
Why Do I Miss You?  
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Seven Days. I have to stay on this damn boat for senven days. Actually I've already spent one day here. And I'm already bored out of my mind. Maybe if I wasn't so upset all the time I could have more fun but,.... Heero. Oh God! Why can't I stop think about him? He never loved me remember. If he did he wouldn't have left me right? Why did I take Quatre's advice and come on this fuckin' boat?  
  
~flashback~  
  
"Duo!" The blond boy came up to me looking more concerned than usual.  
  
"What."  
  
"Duo you need to snap out of it! I know you're sad about Heero leaving you and everything but...."  
  
"I'm fine. Really I am." I cut him off. It hurt so much when he said that name. That name. Heero's name. Heero left me. I'm all alone.  
  
"Maybe you should get away for a while. Get your mind onto other things. Trowa and I have been looking at different places you could go."  
  
"Quatre really I'm fine."  
  
"But Duo,... I think it would be a lot better for you. And who knows, maybe you could meet some nice person and..."  
  
"Quatre." I cut him off again. I didn't mean to but, the thought of being with someone else other than Heero didn't settle right with me. I looked back up at him. I could tell he was really worried about me. I didn't want to put him down or anything so I did the second stupidest thing possible. "Alright Quatre, I'll go." Sure it was a stupid thing for me to do but it was nothing compared to the stupid act of letting Heero go. Besides, it made Quatre happy and you could really tell by the way his eyes lit up when he smiled at me.  
  
~end of flashback~  
  
Meet some nice person. The words echoed through my head. Is it even possible? Could I ever feel the same way towards someone else as I did towards Heero?  
  
I laid back down on my bed. Damn! This will be the most miserable six days of my life, not counting the day Heero left me of coarse. At least three of the days will be at islands and stuff. I probably wont even want to get off the boat though. Oh well. This was definitely the biggest waist of money.  
  
I moved my fingers along the white bed sheets. They were really soft but at the same time felt really old. I wonder what kind of soap they use to wash them. I wonder if the maid would think I was some kind of wacked person if I asked her. I smirked when I thought she probably would.  
  
I sighed and rolled over onto my stomache. Still laying on the bed, I looked out the window. I didn't feel like getting up to look out it, I knew what I would see. Water, water, and..... well more water. I can't believe that some people actually sit out there on those balconies and just look at the water. I mean it's not like you've never seen it before. But I guess usually people have someone to talk too. Someone to talk to? What happened to that person that carried me to my room? Did I just imagine the whole thing? I was pretty drunk. I decided I would go back to the bar and ask the bartender. Maybe he saw the person and can tell me some stuff about them.  
  
I got up from the bed. This is weird. I was actually feeling a little better about finding some stranger. I ran to one of the desks I always put my keys on and grabbed one. I didn't even notice that the extra key they gave me wasn't there.  
  
TBC.....  
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Author's Notes: Woh! I think I'm making Duo a bit to happy right now. But don't worry, I'm sure in the next chapter things will change..... a lot! Got to make it sad ya know. Duo is in a drepressing state. Can't make him happy just yet. ::giggles:: Like always, please review! 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.  
  
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.  
  
Author's Notes: Ok, I got this chapter out fast too! Here's the fourth part. Hope everyone likes it!  
  
Why Do I Miss You?  
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I closed the door to my room and started to make my way down the hall. Ok what floor was it on again? This... could be a problem. The boat had somewhere around 12 floors and I don't remember what floor I was drinking on. Well I can take out floors 11 and 12 because 11 it the spa and everything and 12 is stuff like the track and ping-pong. I could probably take out floors 1, 2, and 3 because I think only rooms are on those floors. And I can take out floor 7 because that's the floor my room is on and I know what's on it already. So that leaves me floors 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, and 10. This.... isn't gonna be easy is it?  
  
I decided I would start from the bottom and move my way up. I grabbed an elevator, not literally, and I pressed the botton to go to the 4th floor. There was an old man in the elevator with me. I supposed he could tell me where some of the bars were. Why would an old man know where the bars were? Old men shouldn't be drinking anyways. Oh well, might as well ask.  
  
"Um... do you know if there's a bar on the 4th floor?"  
  
He gave me a blank look before replying. "What kind of question is that? There are bars on basically every floor."  
  
I blinked a couple of times. Well that was rude. It was just a simple question. "Just asking."  
  
The elevator stopped at the 4th floor. I was glad to see that the man wasn't going to the same floor as me. I walked around on the floor for a while looking at all the shops. There were a few bars but none of them looked familiar. I went to another elevator to go to the 5th floor. I could have taken the stairs but I like riding them. I walked in and guess who I saw. That same little old man!  
  
"Find a bar?"  
  
"Yes but not the one I'm looking for."  
  
The door to the elevator opened and I walked out. He again wasn't getting out on the same floor as me. I walked around that floor and practically saw the same knids of stores. I looked at my watch. It was 5:00 pm. I sighed as I realized I missed dinner. I guess I did take up a lot of time trying to figure out what floor to go to, oh yeah and the fact that I got up at 1:00 pm. Hey to me thats still morning, and one hour later than I usually sleep too! Oh well. They have that food thing on like the 10th floor that's open 24 hours, I'll just get something there later. I got onto another elevater and you'll never believe who was in there. That same old man!  
  
"Did you find the right bar?"  
  
"No" I said a little surprised to see my old friend again. I got off the elevator at the 6th floor and again the old man stayed on. I walked around and came to a bar that looked extremly familiar. I looked at all the things they put up to decorate. Lights were hung from the walls and ceiling along with paper music notes. There was even a statue in every corner. I wasn't sure if it was the same bar until I noticed the bartender. For some reason the bartender had stayed in my mind very well. I walked over to the counter and sat down on one of those spining chairs.  
  
"Back again?" I heard the voice of the bartender. Now I knew that I was here the night before. But did someone really carry me out?  
  
"Yeah I wanted to ask you some questions."  
  
He put his hand up and answered. "I wont answer any questions unless you order a drink."  
  
"Does it have to be a drink with alcohol in it?" I asked him. I didn't want to get drunk right now. I just wanted to figure out who that one person was.  
  
"No. Any drink except for water."  
  
I could tell the man was only interested in the money so I ordered a Coke.  
  
He filled up the glass and placed it infront of me. "What is it you want to know?"  
  
"Did someone carry me out of here yesterday?"  
  
"Yes. You did seem to have a little to much to drink." He said as he wiped the counter with a damp towel.  
  
"What exactly happened?"  
  
"He took your key out of your pocket and carried you away somewhere."  
  
"What did he look like?" This was getting more interesting by the second.  
  
"Um... he had messy brown hair. I don't know what color his eyes were cuz he didn't look up at me."  
  
"Do you remember what he was wearing?" I was now even more curious.  
  
"Um let me see.... I believe he was wearing a green tank top and black spandex or something like that."  
  
I froze as I felt me heart sink in my chest. "Tank top and spandex?" I mummble out in a rather high pitch.  
  
"Yes, I'm pretty sure that was it."  
  
That just coincident right? I mean there are probably a lot of people that go around wearing green tank tops and spandex, aren't there? I got up from my seat slowly and said a small "thank you" but I'm not sure if he heard me or not. I left the bar and headed straight for the elevator. The door opened and I stepped inside it. Just in case you wanted to know, that old man was in there again.  
  
"Find the bar you were looking for?"  
  
"Y-Yes."  
  
"That's good."  
  
I loked over at the man. What was up with this guy? "Are you some kind of guy that likes to ride elevators up and down all day?"  
  
He laughed. "I guess you could say that. I enjoy riding it cuz I enjoy see all the different people this way. Heck! It beats being alone don't you think."  
  
He did have a point. Anything could beat being alone. The door to the elevator opened and I got out. I practically ran to my room. I fumbled around for a while before getting my key out of my pocket and sliding it into the door. I opened the door and walked inside.  
  
Oh God! Green tank top and spandex! Maybe it wasn't a hallucination last night when I thought I saw Heero. What am I saying? Heero left me. I'm all alone.  
  
I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water to the shower. I took out the tie of my braid and let the hair unwind and fall loosely around me as I stripped from my clothing. I got in the shower and let the water hit my chest as I thought of one thing, Heero.  
  
About one hour past when I finally stepped out from the shower. I put some different clothes on but right now I didn't feel like braiding my hair so I kept it down. I opened the door and walked out of the bathroom. That's when I saw someone sitting on my bed. He lifted his head as he noticed I had walked into the room. I recongnized the face instantly.  
  
"Heero." The name whispered out from my mouth.  
  
TBC....  
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Author's Notes: Don't you just love cliff hangers? I don't, unless I'm of coarse the one writting them! ::giggles:: Sorry I just couldn't help it, I had to. So.... this is where the dramatic turn takes place I guess you could say. Hope you liked it. Like always, please review. 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.  
  
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.  
  
Author's Notes: Ok, I'm sorry for not updating this in a while. I kinda forgot about it until my friend started yelling at me for not updating it. So um... here it is. I hope you guys don't mind that the chapter's are really really short. The next chapter after this one should be up really soon because I have it written I just need to type it. Thanks again to everyone that reviewed. Oh yeah , just a little note. THIS CHAPTER IS WRITTEN IN HEERO'S POINT OF VEIW. Just to clear up any confusion that might start.  
  
// // - Heero's thoughts  
' ' - Heero repling to his thoughts  
  
  
  
  
Why Do I Miss You?  
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"What the fuck?! Heero what..."  
  
His voice trailed off in my mind. His mouth was moving but I wasn't listening to what he was saying. Instead of focusing on his words I was focusing on his hair. I've only seen Duo's hair down a couple of times before and just seeing it flowing down again made me want to take my fingers and run them through it. My thought disappeared as I relized he was still talking to me.  
  
"Are you listening to me?!"  
  
I turned my head to the side and a couple of seconds later, heard the door slam.  
  
I layed on the bed. Shit. This would be harder than I thought it would be. //Well what were you thinking? Did you think it would be easy?// 'Shut up! I knew it wouldn't be easy.' //This must really be getting to you. Is it normal to arguing with yourself?// I sighed as I rolled over onto my stomache.  
  
I can't believe I didn't at least thing of a plan. Did I honestly think Duo would come running back into my arms? Maybe I should just tell Duo the truth. The truth is I didn't leave Duo because he was in the way. I left Duo because... because.... my training. I was never trained to... love. I was... scared I guess you could say. Scared. And it took me a year to finally realize it. Now why can't I just tell Duo that? And even if I did, would it make any difference now? It doesn't matter anyways. It couldn't get any worse could it? And the hardest part would actually be saying it. All it is, is three little words. I. Love. You. I still love you Duo. I'll never stop loving you.  
  
I curled up into a ball as the words still went through my mind. //I love you Duo.//  
  
TBC...  
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Author's Notes: So um.... Well I probably wont write it in Heero's point of veiw again. I'm not very good with it. So anyways, the next chapter will be up really really really soon. And until then, please review! 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.  
  
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.  
  
Author's Notes: OK. I'm sorry about the short chapters. Yeah.... and guess what. This one's short too. I just can't write lond ones. I'm not very good with detail and what not. I considered putting my other chapter in with this one but then I thought about it. Let's see the facts here. If I put my other chapter in with this one that would mean that there was one less cliffhanger. Now did I really want to be nice in this situation and leave that cliffhanger out? No not really. So it's short just like the rest. I'm sorry! Please don't get mad. I promise the next chapter will be up just as soon as this one. ::sweatdrop::  
  
Why Do I Miss You?  
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After I slammed the door I ran down the hall. I didn't care where I was running as long as it was anywhere but in the room. In the room with... Heero. Why was Heero here?  
  
As I was thinking the elevator door opened. I ran inside. When the door closed I sank down on the floor in the corner.  
  
"You for got to push a button."  
  
"What?" I looked up to see the old man.  
  
"What floor are you going to?"  
  
"I don't know" And I didn't care. My eyes traveled back down to the floor. As I sat there, I felt the man come over and sit down next to me.  
  
"Upset?"  
  
"I guess you could say that."  
  
"How come?"  
  
"Nothing. It's nothing"  
  
"Doesn't look like nothing to me. But since you don't want to talk about it, I wont force you to tell me."  
  
I looked at the man who was now eating half of a sandwitch.  
  
"Because of a guy."  
  
"You're upset because of a guy. Is he a friend?"  
  
I snorted at the thought. "No, not anymore."  
  
"So you used to be friends?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Did you used to be more than friends?"  
  
My eyes widened at the question.  
  
"So what happened?"  
  
"He left me. He said I was in his way."  
  
"And now he's back?"  
  
I looked back down on the ground. Why is it so hard just to talk about him?  
  
"He didn't happen to be wearing a green tank top and spandex, was he?"  
  
"Yes." I looked back up at him. "Did.... he.... come in here?"  
  
"Yes, he did meet up with me in here. Said he was here to tell someone something. He never told me what it was though. He didn't seem like the type of person to blurt things out."  
  
"He's not"  
  
"So what did he have to say?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well I assume you're the 'someone' so he told you 'something'."  
  
"He never told me anything." Then I thought back to how I yelled at him and left before he had a chance to say anything.  
  
"Well than, maybe you should go back to hear what he has to say."  
  
Maybe this guy was right. Maybe I should go back, just to hear what he has to say. "Thanks." I said as I opened the door to the elevator. What if he wasn't there anymore though. Damn it Duo! You're all upset and depressed because he left you and then when he does come back you slam a door in his face.  
  
I got to my room, stuck the key in the door, and opened it. I walked inside. Half of me was wishing he wasn't there but half of me was wishing he was. As I walked further into the room I could hear sobbing noises. That's when I saw it. Heero, the perfect soldier, curled up on my be... crying.  
  
TBC...  
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Author's Notes: I must admit though, this chapter is a little..... well it needs something. And that's what the next chapter is for! I have the whole story written already so it shouldn't take so long to come out. Well.. I think I have the whole story written. I might add another chapter later on or something or I might even change the ending. I'm still not sure if I really want Heero and Duo to get back together or not. O well, anyways... please review. 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.  
  
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.  
  
Author's Notes: Here's the next chapter. I'm sorry... I just can't make long chapters. Hope nobody minds. It's just not possible for this story. Oh yeah... before I said that I had the whole story written and all I needed to do was type it, well that's not true anymore. I didn't like the way it ended so I'm changing it. So it might take a little longer to put up the next chapters.  
  
Why Do I Miss You?  
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Why was Heero crying? Doesn't he remember that he's the one who left me? I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. As soon as I did, he stopped crying, or he just made sure I couldn't hear him doing it.  
  
"Heero....?" Why was it so hard to say something? I guess it was an awkward situation. I mean, It's not everyday you come in and see 'the perfect soldier' laying on a bed, curled up and crying. "Was there.... something you wanted to tell me?"  
  
"No" He spat out almost instantly. He didn't move from his position although I knew he was very uncomfortable. His back was facing me, probalaby a good thing, now was not the time to be drowing in prussian blue colors.  
  
"I think there is. You were sitting on my bed earlier like you were waiting to tell me something." //And an old guy in an elevator told me you wanted to tell me somthing.// "So what is it?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Ok, now this was getting tireing very quickly. "Heero!" I got up from the bed and walked to the other side that he was facing. I knelt down so that I was eye level with him. Mistake! I told you this would happen. It's like he can hypnotize you with the color of those eyes. I stared into them for a couple of seconds, maybe even minutes, but snaped out of it when I noticed a tear droplet falling down his face.   
  
"I don't want to tell you anymore."  
  
Well now we were getting somewhere! So he had something to say he just didn't want to tell me. But if anyone could make him spit it out, Duo Maxwell could! Well... at least I used to be able to. But... um... well now the technique I used would be very very.... awkward.... in a situation like this. It always had to do with us both on a bed, me with nice little face expression, and Heero without his shirt on. Good times!   
  
I looked down on the floor. Some of my hair that was behind me, fell infront past my face. "Heero please. What was the point of coming if you're not even gonna say what you wanted to?"  
  
"What makes you think I came here for you?" Ouch. That stung. He did have a point though. I had no reason to think that he did come here for me.  
  
"Did you?" I looked back up at him. By the way more tears came, I could tell that he did. "So what did you want to say?"  
  
"You don't want to hear it."  
  
Yeah? And how was he supposed to know this? Could he all of a sudden read minds? Yeah right. "Well why don't you say it and we'll find out." After I said it, I could hear him whimper. Just a small one, almost like he didn't want me to hear it.  
  
"Duo..... I can't."  
  
That brought back a flashback of the day he left me. That was exactly what he said to me when he left. "Bullshit Heero! You can talk so you can say it!"  
  
More tears came as he closed his eyes. "Duo... I.... I love you."  
  
My eyes widened when he said it. I didn't know what to do. Heero said he loved me. But Heero left me. "Heero.... then why....?" I felt like I was about to break down crying. I couldn't let Heero see me crying. "Please leave."  
  
"Duo...."  
  
"LEAVE!!" Honestly, I didn't mean to snap at him but I was hurting so much inside. I felt him get up from the bed. After that I heard him open and then close the door. He was gone and I was alone again.  
  
I crawled onto the bed in the same spot Heero was laying a few moments ago. It was so warm there. It was how I wanted to feel again. Warm. I curled into the same position he was in and cried.  
  
"Heero.... Heero.... Heero..." I whimpered out his name as I cried and thought about all the pain I was in. When will the pain be over? When will I be happy again? When will I be able to live?  
  
TBC...  
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Author's Notes: OK, so please review. And I'll try to make the next chapter extra long ok? 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.  
  
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.  
  
Author's Notes: Ok, so maybe this isn't the last chapter like I thought it would be. Anyways, It's not very long but you have to admit, it's a lot longer than some of the chapters. I think I wrote it a little different compared to the other 7 chapters though. Oh well. Thanks to everyone who reviewed this story!  
  
Why Do I Miss You?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
  
  
Where was I? I looked around but all I could see was darkness, that is until I saw Heero appear infront of me.  
  
"Heero?"  
  
He looked at me and then turned around and started walking away.  
  
"W-Wait! Where are you going?!"  
  
"You don't love me anymore. I'm not needed for anything."  
  
He kept walking forward.  
  
"Wait a minute Heero!"  
  
I started running to catch up to him but, I couldn't do it. I never got any closer to him. I stopped running to catch my breath and that's when Heero stopped walking and turned back around. His eyes shined from the tears that were falling down his face. My eyes widened when I saw that he was holding a gun to his head.  
  
"I love you Duo." He whispered it as he pulled the trigger.......  
  
*  
  
I woke up and sat up in the bed panting and sweating. A dream, it was all a dream. A shiver went down my spine as I recalled what happened. Heero left me in the dream, just like he left me in reality.  
  
Why did I yell at Heero and tell him to leave earlier today? He told me he loved me. He's never said that before. But he left me. I've wanted him to come back for so long but, now that he's here, I just want him to go away.  
  
I looked over at the alarm clock next to the bed. 5:43am. I hate nightmares. You never snap out of them at a reasonable hour. Oh well. Now I wont be able to go back to sleep. It doesn't really matter though, what do I need sleep for? I'll just be glad when this trip is over.  
  
*  
  
Those were the longest days of my life. I mean, I ran out of things to do in like, one day. What surprised me though was that I didn't see Heero anymore. He never came back into my room. I also noticed that my spare key was sitting on one of the desks. He must have taken it earlier to get inside the room. He probably took it that one time I was drunk. I met up with my elevator friend a lot though.  
  
The boat stopped at three places that week, and as I had predicted, I didn't get off at any of them. I'm not even really sure where the places where. Some places in the Caribbean or something.  
  
I kept thinking of ways I could make Quatre believe that I had a good time.   
  
One more day. Just one more day and I can go home. Back home to loneliness. Back home to nothing. I wish I could snap out of this depressing state. My life's not all the way over yet. I still have Quatre. Trowa's also there for me, I guess. Of coarse I think it was mostly just to get me out of the house so Quatre wouldn't feel my pain anymore. And yeah, even though he can be a fuckin' bastard sometimes, I still have Wufei too. I just don't seem to care anymore though. I only think of the bad things that have happened to me this past year.  
  
*  
  
The day ended with me falling asleep on my bed after packing up all my stuff and sticking it out in the hallway, like they had said to do, making sure to leave some clothes for me to change into tomorrow. I had missed dinner again. I decided I would rather sleep that fill my stomach. I fell asleep dreaming of being home with my life the way it used to be. When Heero was still with me. When I was still happy.  
  
I woke up early in the morning to the sound of the cruise director telling us to move to where we where supposed to go. Guess I forgot to set my alarm. I got out of bed and changed into a different pair of clothing faster than I ever have before. I took one last look around the room, if that's what you want to call it. I was just about to walk out my door when I noticed a piece of paper sitting on my dresser. At first I thought that it might be a survey that you fill out about how the trip was but, then I remembered I had already filled one of those out. Wondering what it was, I walked over to it, picked it up, and read it.  
  
*  
  
Dear Duo,  
  
Nothing can describe the feeling that I have right now. All I can say is: it's a feeling. You've made me feel things that I never thought I ever would. You've broken the 'perfect solider mask' that I've burdened all these years. Arigato. I'm sorry though, sorry that I didn't realize it until now, now that it's too late.  
I wont ever bother you again. I'll go away so that you will never have to see me again. But, I wont do it unless you can honestly tell me that you do not love me. I know that you never lie Duo.  
Two days from today, meet me in the flower field near Quatre's mansion at 4:00am. If you can find it in your heart that you still love me even a little, then don't come, I'll come to you. Until then Duo. Aishiteru. Itsumo. {1}  
  
H.  
  
*  
  
Heero. It was from Heero. I crumbled the small note in my hand. He was doing this on purpose! He knows I still have a little bit of feelings for him! He knows that I wont be able to tell him that I don't love him even a little bit! And he wants me to prove it to him!  
  
I sighed as I thought of the last two words. 'Aishiteru. Itsumo.' Do you Heero? Do you really love me?  
  
TBC....  
*~*~*  
  
{1}- it mean's I love you. Always.  
  
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Author's Notes: Ok...... maybe it's a little cliff hanger? But it just looked like a really good place to stop for now. Sorry. ::sweatdrop:: Soooooooo..... please review! 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimers: Yeah yeah, I don't own any part of gundam wing, what so ever.  
  
Warnings: This is a 2x1, 1x2 paring. Just incase you wanted to know.  
  
Author's Notes: Um... sorry I haven't updated anything in a while. I've actually had the story written down for months now, I just haven't felt like typing it up. ((sweatdrop)) Um.... you might wanna go back and read chapter 8 again, just to refresh your memory and such. Sorry about that. PureEmotion please don't hurt me. Oh yeah, some people are confused about the letter. Basically it says: If Duo comes to the flower field it means he DOESN"T love Heero. If Duo doesn't go to the flower field that it means he DOES love Heero. Okay? Okay.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ - Switches to Heero's point of view.  
  
  
  
  
Why Do I Miss You?  
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Damn it! Why did it have to be 4:00 in the morning. I guess he doesn't want anyone to know about this but, it's too fucking early!  
  
I pushed off my sheet covers and sat up to turn off the annoying beeping noise that was coming from my alarm. I got off my bed and made my way to the shower while I thought of the day I came back from the cruise.  
  
~Flash back~  
  
"Duo!" I looked over to see Quatre waving happily next to the car. I took in a deep breath and got ready to do the biggest act I've ever done. I needed to make them think I had a good time.  
  
"Hey Quatre." I smiled cheerfully as Trowa took my bags and put them in the trunk. I looked over to Wufei who was leaning against the car with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"Hey Wu-man!"  
  
"It's WUFEI!" He glared at me. Then opened the car door and sat down inside.  
  
"Sorry Wuffie." I smiled. It's so much fun to tease him sometimes.  
  
"So Duo, how was your trip?"  
  
"It was ok I guess. There was this weird guy that hung around in the elevators. We talked a lot."  
  
Quatre smiled at me as we got into the car and drove to his mansion.  
  
~End of flashback~  
  
I walked out from the shower and put on some clothes. Then I went to my dresser and grabbed a brush as I began to brush and braid my hair.  
  
After I finished I stood there looking in the mirror. This might be hard. How was I supposed to do this?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I waited in the flower field. I looked down at my watch.  
  
3:50  
  
Every part of me prayed that he wouldn't come. If he does come than it means he doesn't love me, and if he doesn't than it means he does. I looked back down at my watch.  
  
3:55  
  
This was an important meeting. If Duo was going to come he wouldn't be late for something like this, right?  
  
3:58  
  
Two more minutes. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I just want one more chance.  
  
3:59  
  
One more minute. If Duo does come at least I can see him one last time.  
  
4:00  
  
I looked up from my watch and waited a couple of seconds. Then a couple of minutes.  
  
4:10  
  
Maybe he still does love me. My heart seemed to lift up but then sank back down when I saw a familiar figure walking towards me.  
  
Maybe I didn't need to hear it from him. No, I can't hear it from him. I can't stand there and listen to him tell me that he doesn't love me. I thought I could, but I can't. I wouldn't be able to take it. Back then I might have been able to, but not anymore.  
  
I turned around and started walking away. Forever.  
  
"Heero! Wait!" No. I don't want him to say it to me.   
  
I kept on walking.  
  
"Heero!" Why does he want to say it to me so badly?  
  
I kept walking.  
  
"Heero stop!" This time I heard footsteps running towards me. I turned around right when he crshed into me and sent us both falling to the ground.  
  
"No Heero. I don't want you to leave me anymore."  
  
I blinked a couple of times before I relized that his head was laying on my stomach while he cried soaking my shirt.  
  
"Duo, I thought..."  
  
"I know your note said to wait for you but I'm tired of waiting for you Heero."  
  
"Duo..."  
  
"I love you Heero. I love you more than anything else in the world. I don't want you to leave me anymore. Don't leave me."  
  
I lifted up his head to look at his face. It was all red from the tears coming down his face and it made his eyes shine like gems. I pulled him up closer so our faces were only inches apart.  
  
"You're late."  
  
He smiled at me. "Sorry."  
  
Then I lowered his head down and kissed him. A kiss that I haven't been able to have in one long year. When we broke away he was still smiling. And I smiled back. A real smile that hasn't been seen in a year. A real smile that was only reserved for Duo. A real smile.  
  
  
~End ^.^   
  
Author's Notes- I don't think I'm gonna add anything else to this story. Sorry if you were expecting a lemon or something. I'm just afraid of messing it up more than what it already it. If you really want to read a lemon though..... I'm writting two other stories that will be up soon. Right now one of them is titled "Drifting Apart" and the other one doesn't have a title yet. So anyways.... I hoped you liked this story and please review! 


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